Yes, I have been committing a crime with my blog recently on the grounds of procrastination again and again and again and again ad infinitum. Guilty of that, fine. And I am here sentenced on my death chair in front of my year-old laptop redeeming myself of that sin. I guess the reason for not having been able to fulfill myself of blogging regularly (though heaven knows how much I try to keep my promise) is that I have problems with commitments, as we all do I guess. Yes, we all do. Save me from the crap but living on this planet for 23 years and dealing with all kinds of people tells me that commitment is synonymous to unconditional love, contentment, and world peace. They are all elusive.
Like when a friend invited me over dinner and totally forgot the invite. I know I should not cry over spilled milk but time spent waiting and schedules adjusted to compromise with the invite merits the opposite of the metaphor. You see, I have been working as a coordinator and it has been one of my pet peeves when it comes to derailed schedules. It just annoys me when people don't seem to care about how you value your time with them by arranging your own activities to suit your arrangements and then they would let you wait in vain as if you didn't agree on anything and nevertheless made you feel so insignificant while you solely wait in a crowded bar, alone in the table with a single bottle of San Miguel Pale Pilsen and exhausting your lungs with countless, indefinite amount of cigs. Or like when a long time friend asked you to lend her some serious money and promised to pay you back with arranged specific due dates and all but then when the time comes countless reasons will substitute the payment (may sukli pa syang stress from me). Ugh! Oh well, I guess that I just have to learn and accept that there will always be people around you, friends even, who are really "paasa."
Karma. Yes, I guess it is with my case as I have previously mentioned that I am guilty of procrastination thus resulting to commitments unaccomplished. I know, I have been late to a lot of meetings, cancelled a lot of appointment for a whimsical reason, and lied to friends just to get away from the responsibility. But that was then, or to a certain degree, I learned how to minimize those acts. That’s why I’m here now, after staring and editing this blog entry for half a day I made sure I’ll post one by the day’s end. And self fulfillment has never been this refreshing in spirit as this new blog entry. So from now on lemme say, “Blog on!”
