I crush you project

I crush you...

The Space Between- Dave Matthews Band

Oh how I just love this song.

The Space Between


You cannot quit me so quickly
There's no hope in you for me
No corner you could squeeze me
But I got all the time for you, love

The Space Between
The tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain

But will I hold you again?
These fickle, fuddled words confuse me
Like 'Will it rain today?'
Waste the hours with talking, talking
These twisted games we're playing

We're strange allies
With warring hearts
What wild-eyed beast you be
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain

Will I hold you again?
Will I hold...

Look at us spinning out in
The madness of a roller coaster
You know you went off like a devil
In a church in the middle of a crowded room
All we can do, my love
Is hope we don't take this ship down

The Space Between
Where you're smiling high
Is where you'll find me if I get to go
The Space Between
The bullets in our firefight
Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you
The rain that falls
Splash in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into...
The Space Between
Our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain

Take my hand
'Cause we're walking out of here
Oh, right out of here
Love is all we need here

The Space Between
What's wrong and right
Is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you
The Space Between
Your heart and mine
Is the space we'll fill with time
The Space Between...

Blog On!

Yes, I have been committing a crime with my blog recently on the grounds of procrastination again and again and again and again ad infinitum. Guilty of that, fine. And I am here sentenced on my death chair in front of my year-old laptop redeeming myself of that sin. I guess the reason for not having been able to fulfill myself of blogging regularly (though heaven knows how much I try to keep my promise) is that I have problems with commitments, as we all do I guess. Yes, we all do. Save me from the crap but living on this planet for 23 years and dealing with all kinds of people tells me that commitment is synonymous to unconditional love, contentment, and world peace. They are all elusive.

Like when a friend invited me over dinner and totally forgot the invite. I know I should not cry over spilled milk but time spent waiting and schedules adjusted to compromise with the invite merits the opposite of the metaphor. You see, I have been working as a coordinator and it has been one of my pet peeves when it comes to derailed schedules. It just annoys me when people don't seem to care about how you value your time with them by arranging your own activities to suit your arrangements and then they would let you wait in vain as if you didn't agree on anything and nevertheless made you feel so insignificant while you solely wait in a crowded bar, alone in the table with a single bottle of San Miguel Pale Pilsen and exhausting your lungs with countless, indefinite amount of cigs. Or like when a long time friend asked you to lend her some serious money and promised to pay you back with arranged specific due dates and all but then when the time comes countless reasons will substitute the payment (may sukli pa syang stress from me). Ugh! Oh well, I guess that I just have to learn and accept that there will always be people around you, friends even, who are really "paasa."

Karma. Yes, I guess it is with my case as I have previously mentioned that I am guilty of procrastination thus resulting to commitments unaccomplished. I know, I have been late to a lot of meetings, cancelled a lot of appointment for a whimsical reason, and lied to friends just to get away from the responsibility. But that was then, or to a certain degree, I learned how to minimize those acts. That’s why I’m here now, after staring and editing this blog entry for half a day I made sure I’ll post one by the day’s end. And self fulfillment has never been this refreshing in spirit as this new blog entry. So from now on lemme say, “Blog on!”

And so I hit “search”

I basically use Google way back in high school to search data for my home works and projects. Of course, there's also Yahoo, ask jeeves, and not so long ago the Wikipedia among other search engines.

Back in college, these search engines also helped me find information I needed that helped me got my diploma (if you live in a third world country and lacks the access to comprehensive libraries, search engines can be very reliable). Now that those academic requirements are finally (yey!) history, it has been a habit during idle times on the net for me to Google people I personally know (sorry guys for stalking) and even search for entries about myself. It's easy, type in your name on the search box and hit "search" and have fun with all those weird results about people you know and even yourself.

Well you have to know for a fact that my name has a special character on it (ñ) and the results sometimes are funnier than what I expect. But I guess that's just understandable if you also know for a fact that there are more than six billion people on this planet and for your name to be permutated is not really a rarity.

Now this morning as I was again in the mood to spy on my friend's new googleable entries, I suddenly had this urge to give myself a little narcissistic pleasure and hit enter as I typed in the words in the search box the title of my blog, Anino's Tale. To my surprise, the first entry actually directs me to my exact blog and on top of that, the result was:

Top 50 Blogs under essays - NetworkedBlogs.com
- 19:36 - Anino's Tale · http://ngval.blogspot.com/ 8 Followers Language: unknown. Topics: poems, essays, nothings. Rating: (2 Ratings) ...
www.networkedblogs.com/topic/essays/.

Wow that was something I never expected. I opened the link and was directed to this Networked blog, a facebook application that allows you to share, promote, and announce your blogs to your friends and networks. Anino's tale with its old URL http://ngvalencia.blogspot.com is on top 22 with eight followers, five of them I totally have no connections about. I am just so surprised people are finally noticing my entries which I began to give my thoughts some therapy and exercise. I also started blogging to free my ideas no matter how badly I wrote them up. (Note: I recently updated my URL to http://onceupon1985.blogspot.com to give it a little "spunk" and some facelifts).

To those who follow me, thank you, thank you for visiting my site. For:

1. Gerald Celente of Bridgeford/Stamfod CT who follows 195 blogs, thank you for keeping me on that list. =)

2. For Lindsey Williams, who is a pastor and an economist who care for the "pipeliners", thank you.

3. Dada Veloso, with her interesting and inspiring entries.. thank you for keeping me one of the 10 blogs you follow on facebook.

4. Thanks Jesse Mathewson, an Atheist from Tuczon Arizona. I have to say I got a handful of atheist, pagan, Wiccan, and agnostic friends.

5. Makar Bdr Sarki, who doesn't have any blogs but follows 59. Welcome to the blog world Makar!


And of course, to the people I know and have kept me inspired to write..


6. Coreen Angelica Chan, my dear Coreen.. it has been almost a year now since our film, Kolorete…
It feels just like yesterday, isn't it?

7. My dear sister, Jasmin Valencia. Hey sis! You ought to start blogging now, you got a heck of an adventure there in NJ!

8. And of course, my beloved buffer, Annabs.. the true writer. We shall go on our hikikomori quest soon.

^_^


I'm really, really touched from the bottom of my heart.


Thank you with all my blogs,
Anino =)

The family eats together

We celebrated Ate Monette's 35th birthday by (finally!) going out of Camarin and splurge on some Pancit Canton, Chop suey, Sinigang na Hipon, and fried chicken at Gerry's Grill. It was a wonderful day of simple gastronomical indulgence and warm family bonding.

I've never been this happy with them since... what, my 7th birthday? Oh well, I just realized that there are things we sometimes overlook in life as we grow old and unfortunately, sometimes it's the essential things we first forget...

like how much I look like my dad....

or how happy I can be when I hear my mom laugh....

and why do we believe in love...

simplicity....

sharing...

and family.

.

Monette turns 35

June 25, 1974
Single

"Still waiting for her plate to be filled"

My oldest sister-- our most special sister in the family-- Ate Monette, just turned 35 and celebrated her birthday at Gerry's Grill in SM Fairview.

Still single for 35 years, she dreams of dating Kiefer Sutherland or David Cook someday. But before them there was Gerry Yan, Vick Zhuo, Bong Revilla, and Lito Lapid.

My oldest sister but my most sensitive and child-at-heart sis, upon turning 35 still doesn't fail to have a young, loving heart. I love you my dear sis. Thank you for taking care of me when I was just in grade school. I shall always take care of you, no matter what.

Happy 35th birthday Ate Monette! ^_^

Cold.

In nights without you I shiver.
I suffer.

2010

I exist in this dark depressed night

Swallowed in the belly of this glutton clown

In the pits of his swollen lazy legs

Between the crevices of his fat gelatinous neck

I insignificantly exist in his insignificant existence

Arms outstretched as I grasp for freedom

His stench seeps deep into my very core

Until my existence surrenders and burst into woes.

CALL FOR PARTICIPANTS: ASEUM SYMPOSIUM

ASEUM is an international network of new media art practitioners pushing for cultural, educational, and technological exchange on emerging new media art practices in South East Asia and Europe. Initiated by SABAW Media Art Kitchen (Philippines) and Multimedia Center KIBLA (Slovenia), ASEUM hopes to draw attention to artists, their work, their perspectives and the complex interrelationships between technology, art and culture through various symposia, workshops, and collaborative endeavors.

Discussions on interactive design, networked cultures, the burgeoning open source software movements, interactivity, data visualization, bio-technology, DIY electronics, open-source hardware, computer/electronic music, and sound and video art are among the few topics that will be tackled by some of the most recognized artists working on new media art and technology in Europe and Asia.
This year’s symposium is slated to run from July 21-25, 2009 in Manila, Philippines and is open to all artists, software programmers, engineers, scientists, students, DIY hobbyists, and art enthusiasts. The symposium will feature new media artists from Europe and Asia through a series of interactive sessions, open fora, live audio-video performances and presentations in top universities and renowned artist-run spaces in Metro Manila.

*Please note that the hands-on workshop labs on graphical programming languages Pure Data and DIY sound devices using Arduino can only accommodate a limited number of participants.

To be considered for participation, please submit a 1-2 paragraph essay (not more than 300 words) stating your purposes in joining, including how you can contribute to the symposium given your specialization or field of work. Please also submit your full contact details along with the essay on or before June 30, 2009 to sabawmediahub@gmail.com or contact 09175191511.
Complete details regarding symposium venues, speakers, performers, presentation topics, and program flow available upon request; email chesquita@gmail.com.
ASEUM is sponsored by ASIA-EUROPE FOUNDATION as part of the Follow Up Project (FUP) of the 5th-6th Art Camp New Media and the Mini Summit on New Media Art policy & practice.

Feel free to disseminate this email to interested parties, to blogs, websites, the like.

Thank you for your time.

Love in the time of chicken pox. -Ways on how not to touch yourself for self gratitude, clinically.

Let me introduce my new friend, Varicella—Varicella Zoster Virus. Varicella is usually fond of little kids but for some pathological reason, has decided to crash in my place a few days ago. I guess my unhealthy lifestyle of social toxins has been conducive to Varicella and found it habitable to incubate some of her babies on my skin for a good 10-21 days. Being the perpetual host that I am, I found the moving-in hard to resist. Now Varicella and her babies are happily feasting the outer region of my dermis from scalp to toes. Of course I wouldn’t be such a rude host by sleeping while my viral-guests are still on a party mode so I decided to get myself preoccupied lest I want to join their ecstatic party of scratch and prick. Here’s what I thought of in keeping me from touching myself, clinically:

1.Create a blog to document this once in a lifetime pathological phenomenon.You only get chickenpox once in your life so savor it to its very blisters.

2.Review your sent email folder in your yahoomail. It stores the ones you sent from when you first created the account. You’ll find yourself laughing with whom and why you sent that message to.

3.Log in to facebook. Sure, you do this everyday with or without chickenpox but if you really want to get preoccupied from the itch, visit all your 300 plus friends. You’ll see that not all of them have met you personally.

4.Stare at your crush’s page for a good half hour. Then go back to the homepage for eye rest. Then stare at the page back again. Do those for a couple of hours then change your status message saying: “Nirvana!” for all the world to wonder.

5.If you don’t want to use Nirvana, just reply to his status message with cryptic smileys and uberly-pacool-slash- pakyut-phrases. ^_^ If ever he asks what’s with all that, say it must be some artistic itch, with another cryptic smiley, of course. =)

6.Flood yourself with DVD’s good for 2 weeks worth of watching. Dare not to borrow from your jologs kapitbahay. You’ll end up watching Steven Siegal and Transporter 1,2,3. You’re better off scratching and pricking your boils than watching those.

7.Make yourself productive. Answer quizzes from facebook. Why else do you think they make those quizzes for?

8.Organize your file case. Even if it is 2am.

9.Clean up your closet. Even if it’s 2am

10.Drink coffee. It is already 2am.

11.Count your blisters.

And finally,
12.Romanticize your scabs. After all, it was once part of you. Awww…

That’s what you get when you can’t touch yourself for 2 weeks.
Boils, blisters, puss.
05/28/09

Thoughts

Thoughts….

About Nature

It’s been two days of thunderstorms in Manila and yet the season is still supposed to be the start of the flowering month (May). The earth is dying or should I say in turmoil of drastic change which then will surely affect the flora and fauna of this world, moreover the ones who will be mostly affected by this will be us, humans. There is a warning that has been sounded on for almost more than a century now about these drastic changes but it seems that the effort we do are just whispered answers against the sound of that alarm. I have just bought a dvd of this BBC documentary titled Planet Earth and saw the beauty and magnificence of this planet is incomprehensible just to be devastated by a meager species, one that is so insignificant in numbers among the five kingdoms of life, one that has just inherited the earth recently from the dinosaurs about 200,000 years ago (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human), a microscopic peck in the universe, one that is called homo sapiens. As one bishop said, we are but just God’s guest on this planet and as guests we should try not to destroy our Host’s home. And if you don’t believe in God, just care for the earth for the sake of the generations to come.

What I have been doing the first quarter of 2k9

It’s been a very-very busy and productive quarter so far for me. The year of the Ox as soon as it started brought me a lot of wonderful opportunities to explore both my country and myself. 2009 is a year of firsts for me, as I have been divirginized on the adventures I longed dreamed of.

As January began, I have received an offer to be a part of a full length film as a script supervisor and although the production turned out to be not that professional, I have realized my potentials on the other aspects of filmmaking and turned that not-so-good experience to be a beneficial one. I learned doing the logistics, monitoring the continuity, arranging the costumes, directing the blockings, and feeding the whole production simultaneously. At first I thought I shouldn’t be doing that for a meager amount of talent fee and for the type of administration the production has but in return, I looked on the bright side as always, and charged them all to experience. And what an experience it has been, indeed.

After almost two weeks of isolation in Cavite for that shoot, I came back to Manila and received another call from production friends giving me an assistant position for a music video. It has been my dream since high school to be a part of a music video since the generation I have came from has been greatly influenced by the good old Channel V and of course, MTV. The experience gave me a chance to know other people and how to deal with them hence; I made new connections and found new friends along the way.

Having friends on my side, we also made a commercial for the Department of Agriculture and I was tasked to do some oculars alone in San Ildefonso, Bulacan. It was my first time to do that alone and when I got to the location and took a handful of pictures, our location manager invited me on a birthday party and to my surprise, I just found myself on the same table with the Mayor, Vice Mayor, Secretary, and other political figures of Bulacan with a beer on my hand. Beaurecracy has never been that hospitable before.

After all those busy, busy months, I was in my room for a good week and thinking if there won’t be anymore projects to come. Then I received a call with an offer of a commercial project. I was briefed then that it will be on Cebu City and of course, I immediately said yes and agreed to join a meeting right in the afternoon of that same day. When I got to the meeting, I was surprised to know that it is not only in Cebu we are going to shoot at but to five other provinces in the southern Visayas. Apparently, it is a nationwide coverage tv commercial and our team has been designated six locations namely: Davao del Sur, Davao del Norte, Cebu, Iloilo, Cagayan de oro, and one in the north, Baguio city. It is so taxing that there are times we get off only in the airport to go back in our respective homes to replenish our clothes and then immediately the next day we are on the plane again on to the next province. It was also a chance for me to see and meet a lot of people and get to know different cultures of our wonderful archipelago. The tawas tapol ( a guy who sells charms along the streets of Davao) were really awesome though I can’t understand what they’re saying except their “Tugsh! Kapiyaw! Booom!” self-made sound effects.

For now, what I am up to is a full length film with this 45 year-old production company and an artsy-shoot for a friend in Ilocos Norte where we will be hanging cunt and dildos in the sand dunes of the far north.

Life has never been this exciting!

On growing old

There is this stage in a human life you call age of discernment wherein a person reaches a certain age (usually that cusp between puberty and adolescence) where he is able to discern what is morally good from what is morally bad. An age of realization, I would say. As a human being grows old, there are experiences he accumulates from all sorts, be it new or different ideas he picks up in that cycle of life. All of those upon reaching a certain age, a man has to decide what from those are beneficial, what are not, what are good, what are bad. And as he introspects further and further down the skin of his humanity, he sees his strengths and weaknesses. And if you are 23 years old and already thinking about these shits, you could join me in my premature quarter life crisis club. The vice-president position is still open.

My room.

A small 10 to 15 square meters space just beside our main house. Separated from the house it was originally intended to be a rented space with its own bathroom and own sink, studio type I would say and has stood for as long as 18 years which housed almost 10 occupants since 1990.

Now that all of us has grown up and the room in the main house can no longer accommodate our grown up needs (privacy, individuality, mood swings, you name it) my parents decided to stop renting the rooms and gave it to us. Now my room overflows in meters and meters of wires from extension cords, laptop charger, speaker cables, lamp wires, etc. It also reeks of nicotine smell and crowded with hanged clothes and bags and socks and rubber shoes and slippers and books, papers, scripts, call sheets, scratch papers, pictures, cd's, and empty lighters, strayed ashes from cigs, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

The bottom line here is that my room screams of hygiene. It has been three months since the last time I swept the floor with a decent broom (not just kick off some dust out the door) and in fact, the glass of water I was drinking earlier already have Mr. Croachy inside just 30 seconds after I put it aside. I still don't find cockroaches under my exotic-delicacies-to-eat-before-I-die-list.

I definitely have to clean up. Lest I procrastinate again.

an ode to 2am

There is this thing in photography they call "The Magic Hour" wherein according to wikipedia, the golden hour (also known as magic hour) is the first and last hour of sunlight during the day when a specific photographic effect is achieved with the quality of the light. In essence, the magic hour is the time of the day when no artificial lighting is needed to attain your most beautiful shot and that the sun and your lens is in harmony to conceive a masterpiece. 2:44 am is definitely not the magic hour defined on the aforementioned statements. But throughout the years, since college, 2 am has been my personal magic hour.

2 am, when everyone is fast asleep and only few teen drunkards are alive and are soon bound to go home, when everything even the entropy of the cosmos, is like a magical mix of your favorite coffee ready to be served for another planet, when the stillness and serenity are in harmony to achieve your own masterpiece, your own inner peace, that is my magic hour.

It is magic to me to hear the ticking of my wall clock one by one as its second arm revolves tirelessly throughout the night. The silence of the whole neighborhood brings forth calm and the occasional barking of the dogs reminds me that in the stillness of the night there is still life. The quiet dry air of the incoming summer during the night wraps me in an embrace of yet another nostalgia of the summer of the 90's.And I feel more alive during this time of the night since I can grasp the whole moment as my own and that no TV show, or phone call, or unexpected visits can take away my 2 am.

Yes, nothing can take away my 2 am but time itself. For just a fleeting 60 minutes of the night, the 3600th second of the clock hits 12 and announces its time for 3:00 to do its magic. And as the magic of 2 am gradually fades along the remaining hours of the night, I retire to my bed with my own masterpiece, my inner peace.

:-)

Malungkot ako.
Sa kaloob-looban, sa pinakadulo.
Malungkot ako.
Sa kabila ng mga :) at :D at :))
Malungkot ako.
Sabihin man nating malakas ang tawa ko.

Hindi kayang ibsan ng kahit anumang pag-ibig o kalinga ito.
Lalo na kung mula sa ugat hinuhugot.
Kumuha man ako ng pampamanhid, mawawala lamang ang emosyon.
Pero. Sa dulo nito,
Malungkot ako.

:)