Let me introduce my new friend, Varicella—Varicella Zoster Virus. Varicella is usually fond of little kids but for some pathological reason, has decided to crash in my place a few days ago. I guess my unhealthy lifestyle of social toxins has been conducive to Varicella and found it habitable to incubate some of her babies on my skin for a good 10-21 days. Being the perpetual host that I am, I found the moving-in hard to resist. Now Varicella and her babies are happily feasting the outer region of my dermis from scalp to toes. Of course I wouldn’t be such a rude host by sleeping while my viral-guests are still on a party mode so I decided to get myself preoccupied lest I want to join their ecstatic party of scratch and prick. Here’s what I thought of in keeping me from touching myself, clinically:
1.Create a blog to document this once in a lifetime pathological phenomenon.You only get chickenpox once in your life so savor it to its very blisters.
2.Review your sent email folder in your yahoomail. It stores the ones you sent from when you first created the account. You’ll find yourself laughing with whom and why you sent that message to.
3.Log in to facebook. Sure, you do this everyday with or without chickenpox but if you really want to get preoccupied from the itch, visit all your 300 plus friends. You’ll see that not all of them have met you personally.
4.Stare at your crush’s page for a good half hour. Then go back to the homepage for eye rest. Then stare at the page back again. Do those for a couple of hours then change your status message saying: “Nirvana!” for all the world to wonder.
5.If you don’t want to use Nirvana, just reply to his status message with cryptic smileys and uberly-pacool-slash- pakyut-phrases. ^_^ If ever he asks what’s with all that, say it must be some artistic itch, with another cryptic smiley, of course. =)
6.Flood yourself with DVD’s good for 2 weeks worth of watching. Dare not to borrow from your jologs kapitbahay. You’ll end up watching Steven Siegal and Transporter 1,2,3. You’re better off scratching and pricking your boils than watching those.
7.Make yourself productive. Answer quizzes from facebook. Why else do you think they make those quizzes for?
8.Organize your file case. Even if it is 2am.
9.Clean up your closet. Even if it’s 2am
10.Drink coffee. It is already 2am.
11.Count your blisters.
And finally,
12.Romanticize your scabs. After all, it was once part of you. Awww…
That’s what you get when you can’t touch yourself for 2 weeks.
Boils, blisters, puss.
05/28/09
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